


Just A Kid

by Dancingqueen17



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Self-Harm, Suicidal Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 20:17:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingqueen17/pseuds/Dancingqueen17
Summary: No one saw how broken he was. Nobody even bothered to look.





	Just A Kid

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Vanya knows about, and can use her powers and where Luther isn't an ass

It was getting worse. Or maybe it was always this bad and he had never noticed. The thoughts were always there now. They used to go away, but now they never did. They just hung there in the back of his mind, and pulled apart his sanity. If he ever had any sanity to begin with, he was unsure at this point. And he was tired. Klaus was so tired, but he couldn't sleep. It's not like he could have, with the wails of the dead and such. He felt so numb. He always felt numb, like he wasn't really there. He couldn't feel things anymore, it might have been the drugs, Klaus wasn't sure. He felt like he was floating, like he was in a dream. Maybe it was all just a dream. But if it was, why couldn't he wake up?

Three sharp rings of a bell told him dinner was ready.

                _You don't deserve to eat, you're a failure_

Klaus walked quickly to the table. He couldn't afford to be late again. He still had the bruises on his stomach from the last time. Klaus found his seat and sat quietly. Then he was floating again. He didn't know when the food had came. He didn't remember eating any of it. He didn't hear his father talking to him. And he certainly didn't remember responding. Then he was in his room again. And he stopped floating. He plopped down on his bed and went to sleep, it seemed even the dead didn't have time for him today. He hated this.

When Klaus woke up, he wished he hadn't. His head hurt and he was even more tired than he was when he went to sleep. He rolled out of bed and threw some clothes on. Klaus knew he had group training today. He also knew he didn't want to go. But quite frankly he didn't want to go anywhere. But he had to. So he trudged to father's quarters for instruction. Everyone was already there, they were staring.

"And just where were you Number 4?" Father asked.

Klaus cast his eyes to the floor and meant to respond, but he was no longer there. His mind was somewhere else completely. He wanted to go back, but he wasn't in control. He was never in control these days.

Klaus felt a sharp sting on his cheek. He felt his mind flutter to the present. Everyone was looking at him with pity. Did he get hit? Allison and Vanya looked scared. Luther looked protective. Diego and Five looked ready to pounce. And Ben looked like he always did. Klaus felt nothing. He never felt anything.

For being late Klaus was sent to bed with no dinner. He didn't care. He wasn't sure if he could. He wished he had saved the whiskey he had stolen from father. He had chugged it all last week. He needed more. He craved it. He needed something to tame the beasts in his head. Klaus reached his hand under his mattress, only to find his baggie of pills empty. His fingers had started to twitch. He needed to feel something. Klaus went across the hall to the bathroom and looked in his spot under the sink for his blades. They always made him feel something. He needed to feel something, even if it was pain. Klaus held the blade over his already torn up wrists before pressing down. Klaus kept pressing until he knew there would be lots of blood, then scraped the blade across his arm with a sharp hiss. He loved it. His mind had cleared and he loved it.

"What the fuck Klaus!" Five yelled as he entered the bathroom.

Klaus froze, blade still in his hand. Five walked up to him and threw the blade out of his hand.

"Shit, Klaus why the fuck did you do this?" Five asked sternly while inspecting the cuts on his wrist.

Klaus wished he could float again. But his mind was too clear and his head was too leveled. He hated reality.

" I'm getting Allison and Ben, stay put." Five said while running out the door.

Klaus made a move to stop him, but realized his arm was still spewing a considerable amount of blood. He wished it would stop. His siblings would see it and freak. He wished it would all just stop.

"Klaus," Allison said while cleaning and bandaging his cuts " we can help you.

        _Y_ _ou don't deserve help_

"Klaus looked up to see not only Allison, but all his siblings. "You said only Ben and Allison were coming." Klaus said in an accusing tone.

Five merely shrugged. 

" Why didn't you tell us?" Ben sounded hurt.

Klaus hadn't even thought to tell them. Why burden their lives with the problems of his own. They had more important things to worry about than his mental stability.

Diego sighed. "You have to talk for us to help you."

Klaus laughed. A real, genuine laugh. "You can't help me. Nobody can. Besides I'm fine. I don't need help" Klaus almost fooled himself with that performance, unfortunately it didn't look like anyone was taking the bait.

A lightbulb in the vanity exploded, making small shards of glass rain down on them. 

"Sorry," Vanya uttered quietly, she looked to be on the verge of tears  
" You need help Klaus and lots of it." The rest of his siblings nodded in agreement.

Klaus didn't need help. He needed more pills for starters. His siblings were gonna get him thrown into a mental institution. Klaus decided to do what he did whenever things got bad. Run. Klaus made a bolt for the door but was easily caught by Luther. Klaus struggled in his arms.

"Let me go, I don't need help. Please." Klaus didn't realize he was crying.

Luther sighed and loosened his hold slightly "Vanya go get Grace and Pogo, we need all the help we can get.

Klaus struggled more. He didn't need help. He wasn't broken. He just wasn't good. After all some people don't get better. He didn’t want to get better.


End file.
